I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
