if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize