That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
