Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
