there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
