Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
