Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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