oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
