I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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