Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
