she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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