put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
