i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
