I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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