yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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