This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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