Plan B is the new Plan A
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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