Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize