So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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