Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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