It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
