I CAN MOONWALK!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
