Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
