we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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