Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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