You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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