I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Alive.
So much puke
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FUCK WHALES
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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