first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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