Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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