i permit you to call me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
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there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.