Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours