Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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