No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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