Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
