Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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