Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
