sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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