sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
