I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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