u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
