Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
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Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your penis caused this!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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