i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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