I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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