When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
