can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
