threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
