I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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