I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
