you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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