Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
