dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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