I love black thongs
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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