oh god the rape fog is back!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
