OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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