Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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