I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
